How to Access Self Energy

Here are some practical steps to tap into your Self: 

Pause and Breathe 

Take slow, deep breaths. Imagine each inhale invites calmness and each exhale releases tension. Notice your body as you take deep breaths – the rise of your stomach as you inhale, the drop of your shoulders as  you exhale. Focus on the sounds you can hear in the room, and the feel of your feet on the floor (or the feel of your back if you are lying down). 

Notice Your Parts 

Pay attention to what you’re feeling. Are you anxious, critical, or angry? Acknowledge these parts with kindness. 

Ask Parts to Step Back 

Gently ask your active parts for space: “Can you step back a little so I can help?” Sometimes asking them to step into a waiting room until you can talk with them can also be helpful.

Invite Curiosity 

Approach your inner world with curiosity. Ask your parts, “What do you need me to know right now? What do you need from me?” If you find yourself judging these parts, ask that judging part to give you space so you can access more Self energy. 

Practice Compassion 

Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a dear friend, or an upset child.

Thank your Parts

Thank your parts for sharing their concerns, and for trusting  you. Offer them an internal hug and let them know you aren’t going anywhere. 

Create a safe space internally

Ask your parts if they want to go somewhere safer, and see what they say. Along the way of doing IFS for myself, I have created a large house internally, with rooms for all my parts, including a waterfall, gardens, dance parties, games, walking paths and an overlook over the ocean. It started very small with a one room house, and over time has become a small village where all my parts can be together, but still have their own space that’s just right for them.