What is Self in IFS?

When Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, began to develop IFS, he noticed that even in the most traumatized individuals, there was a calm place inside that everyone could access. This space was wise, curious, and compassionate. Since discovering it, he has found this essence in every single person he has worked with, and has come to call it the Self, with a capital S. Throughout his work, he has realized that this essence is the key to healing. 

The Self is considered to be the natural essence of your being. It is undamaged, does not carry burdens, and does not take on extreme roles like parts do. Instead, it is compassionate, wise, calm, and loving. Self is in all of us, it is just often hidden by active parts. The more you practice getting into Self, the easier it will be to access Self.

Every person has a Self, but over time we lose connection with the Self due to the traumas and difficulties of life. Our parts start to run the show, and we learn to identify who we are with our parts.

Dr. Richard Schwarts, the founder of IFS, describes the Self as:

-Always present, even when it feels hidden behind your parts

-A calm leader that guides your parts with kindness, clarity, and free of judgement

-Unburdened. It does not carry the fears or pain of your parts. 

I think of the Self as the wise teacher in a classroom full of chaotic and emotionally charged children (parts). Without the guidance and care of the teacher, the children will try to run the show, but lack the wisdom to do so. 

There are 8 core qualities of Self, also known as the 8 C’s. They are:

1. Calmness – even amidst emotional chaos there is a sense of calm. Self allows you to take a pause and think about how you want to respond, instead of reacting.Curiosity – instead of judging parts, the Self approaches them with curiosity, wanting to learn more about them.

2. Compassion – the Self holds endless compassion, understanding why parts react the way they do, and not judging them or others.

3. Clarity – the Self helps to find clarity within the confusion.

4. Confidence – the Self leads with natural confidence in its abilities to handle whatever life may throw at it.

5. Courage – the Self has courage to handle difficult emotions and to navigate conflict.

6. Creativity -the Self thinks outside the box, and helps to unlock creative potential.

7. Connectedness – the Self fosters connection, both within and with the outside world. 

Why Self is Essential in IFS Therapy 

The Self is necessary for the healing process in IFS because it has the qualities that are needed to create trust, compassion, and transformation. Instead of parts trying to run daily life, the Self can become a trusted leader, and the parts offer council as needed. 

The Self helps to heal wounded parts and relieve them of their pain, shame, or fear, replacing those burdens with more helpful qualities. The Self helps to restore inner balance, and helps parts relax and stop battling for control. Instead they feel heard, understood, and supported. This helps creates an internal feeling of safety and comfort.

Wondering if you’re in Self energy? Look for these signs: 

• You feel calm and centered. 

• You approach emotions and parts with curiosity, not judgment. If you find yourself judging a part as good, bad, weak, strong, etc, then  you are not in Self. 

• You feel a sense of connection and compassion towards yourself and others. 

• You trust your ability to handle challenges with clarity and courage. 

• Self has no agenda, other than to be. If you find that you are in a situation and you have an agenda, like impressing someone, being on time, proving yourself, etc, then you are not in Self. 

When you are not in Self, you might feel more reactive, anxious, depressed, distracted, or overwhelmed. Don’t worry, Self is always there, waiting for you to tune in. Over time, it gets easier to access Self, and Self will feel more present.